But the fact is, more than teaching/coaching, children learn via observing. They try to imitate their parents as they perceive the world through their words & deeds.
If dad comes home with happy face, he spreads the happiness to the whole family for that evening. Rather, dad had missed a deadline in office or got poor rating and comes home with frown face, he spreads the same negative vibration to the family.
The situation gets worsen, if dad shows that frustration by giving grumpy responses to mom. Dad doesn’t wish to yell at the kid and just talks with a false smile. Do you think dad behaved well to the kid as he deemed to have appeased the kid with a smile ?? Not at all ! The kid had already noted the grumpy responses offered to mom and in turn mom’s lovely face losing the glow. I have just exemplified with dad but the same applies when mom behaves impatiently.
We presume that the child observes and reacts to the direct communications only but that isn’t the fact. The kiddie might be watching a cartoon or playing with the dolly when you both are quarreling, but the little one would smell something is wrong at home. This may damage her/his secure feeling of dad, mom and home.
The insecure feeling at home might either violate the child or cause depressions. Your child might be pushed to either of these extremes! If you want to avoid complaints of the violent or inattentive behavior from the school & neighborhood, create a safe and secure environment to the kid at home.
I do agree that in any relationship, there might be controversial thoughts that might demand hot conversations. My only advice is procrastinate. Just postpone till the child sleeps or the kid goes out to school/play. I hope your child’s temperament out-values your Tug-of-war.
According to me, dad and mom should possess and exhibit mutual respects , help each other & involve in sweet conversations and this ambiance will substantially increase the trustworthiness of the child in the earthly relationships.
As a parent, we know the pain and pleasure in nurturing the child. Our small and silly mistakes should not cause a major impact in child’s attitude. He/She is after all your copycat and imbibes your pros and cons directly! Let them inherit/imitate your amiable attributes rather than grumpy gestures. Corner your worries/arguments and enjoy each and every moment with the child .. Happy Parenting 🙂
Nilaa always takes her phone and imitates me whenever I talk over phone. This photo was taken when we were taking GDM pic. Nilaa wanted to wear bangles like me and there struck the idea of this copycat pic 😉